Bondage
The use of confinement or restrictive movement to control a bottom/sub with the intent of heightening awareness and receptivity to pleasure. Examples include handcuffs, gags, corsets, ropes, chains, harnesses, mummification, cages/cells, the list is truly only limited by your imaginative use of items. Bondage may be used in S&M play, as part of a D/s relationship or scene, or as a singular method of intensifying a sexual relationship. see the usual counterparts "domination" or "discipline".
Japanese rope bondage Chokushin Fudo Ippon Shibari, Knots
Bottom
In an S&M scene or relationship, the person receiving stimulation through pain and/or bondage/discipline.
Collar
A symbol showing that a submissive/slave is in an exclusive relationship with a Dominant. Generally, a full collar shows that the submissive belongs to the Dominant and no other person should interfere in the relationship. There are also training and protection collars that serve specialized functions within the D/s community.
Contract
A formal agreement between a Dominant & submissive/slave outlining the terms of their relationship. Also used between Trainers and their charges. A contract may be oral/verbal or a written, signed document outlining the nature of the relationship, any limits each partner has, and the manner in which the relationship may be ended. Many online relationships forgo even the idea of a contract while many rl relationships place the contract in an honored place and review it periodically.
Discipline
Using the concept of discipline to enhance a sexual dynamic. Discipline usually employs elements of bondage and punishments such as confinement or being treated like a prisoner. Discipline can be a regular part of S&M or D/s scenes or relationships. see the counterpart "bondage"
Dom, Domme, Dominant, Dominatrix
The Dominant partner in a D/s scene or relationship. In general, male Dominants are referred to as Doms and female Dominants as Dommes. Professional female Dominants use the title Dominatrix. This is one area where there are many, many different opinions about what is the "proper" term is for someone who is the Dominant.
Domination
The act of obtaining pleasure and satisfaction by controlling a submissive partner. Domination is not about being "bossy" or "all powerful" rather it is receiving the gift of a sub/slave’s loyalty, love, and complete trust and faith in your ability to "use" him/her both for your own pleasure and his/hers. A long-term D/s relationship requires a Dominant to take responsibility for the submissive's well-being and growth as a submissive and person. Domination may include elements of bondage, discipline, and S&M play as well as role play depending on the needs and willingness of both partners. See the counterpart "submission".
Limit
The point at which a submissive/bottom is no longer capable of enduring a particular activity. Limits may be physical--when the pain is no longer pleasurable or when actual physical danger may be imminent, emotional--creating emotions that are overwhelming her and interfering with her ability to function in the scene, or psychological--causing distress related to previous psychological/emotional trauma. There are also legal, moral and ethical principles or personal standards that some subs/bottoms may be unwilling to cross, such as bestiality or scenes with minors. Limits should be discussed before a scene or relationship and safe word/actions established to signal the Dominant/Top when they are reached. Many people believe that a slave (as opposed to a submissive or bottom) does not have limits and is at the complete disposal of his/her Owner. See also "safe word"
Masochism
Obtaining pleasure, usually sexual in nature, and satisfaction through the experience of discomfort and/or pain. Masochists can find self-inflicted play satisfying, but many seek out a sadistic partner. Pain play may be enhanced by bondage or role playing elements or used in the context of a D/s relationship or scene depending upon the desires of those involved. see the counterpart "sadism"
Role play
Carrying out a D/s, B&D, or S&M scene or relationship while assuming specific roles in order to heighten the experiences of both partners. Examples include age play--where one partner is a baby/child and the other the parent/nurse/teacher, gender reversal--where partners switch gender roles, clothing, etc, assuming the identity of animals--such as treating someone as a "pony girl", or simple things like playing warden/prisoner or teacher/student.
Sadism
Obtaining pleasure, usually in a sexual manner, and satisfaction through inflicting discomfort and/or pain on a willing partner. Sadistic play may be heightened by the use of bondage or role-play or may be achieved within the construct of a D/s relationship or scene. As with all bdsm, the form it takes depends on the parties involved. See the counterpart "masochism"
"Safe, Sane, & Consensual"
The credo of BDSM. All responsible adults participating in any form of BDSM ensure that the encounters are physically, emotionally, and psychologically safe, that they stay within the limits of what is reasonable/sane activity, and that all parties involved have given their full consent to the activities.
Safe word
A word, phrase, or action chosen for the course of a scene or relationship to warn the Dominant/Top that the submissive/bottom is in distress, physical, emotional, or psychological, and can not continue the scene. Some people also use caution words in order to warn when something is unexpected and the sub/bottom isn’t certain she can handle it, but is willing to proceed at a slower rate in order to find out. See also "limit"
Scene
An encounter between two or more people involving B&D, S&M, or D/s or some combination of the three. Scenes may be short, spontaneous, and simple, or elaborately planned and coordinated events lasting hours or even days---and everything in between.
Slave
A submissive who gives over complete control of herself to a Dominant. Slaves are the property of the Dominant and may be used, shared, or disposed of in any way the Dominant chooses. Usually there is a slave contract between the two that protects the slave from abuse or physical injury and provides for her to dissolve the relationship under specific circumstances.
Submission
The act of receiving pleasure and satisfaction from submitting your will to that of a Dominant partner. Submission is not "about sex" or about obedience. It is part of a dynamic power exchange between a submissive and her Dominant partner where she gives herself and control of all or part of herself into the Dominant’s protection and indulgence. Submission can be combined with bondage, discipline, or S&M play depending on the desires and needs of the individual submissive and Dominant. See the counterpart "domination"
Submissive
The submissive partner in a D/s scene or relationship. Usually a submissive has much more freedom to say "no" or "stop" than a slave. See slave.
Switch
A person who is comfortable taking, and enjoys, either role in a BDSM scene or relationship. See the definitions of "Top" "bottom" "submissive" "Dom, Domme, Dominant, Dominatrix"
Top
In an S&M, Fetish scene or relationship, the partner who is responsible for stimulating the other(s) by inflicting pain-- the person "holding the whip."
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