Ok, enough of the depressing break-up stuff--Let's talk about sex. And who better to compile a list of the top fifteen sex songs than Adam and Jason, "The Current's" resident sex-perts (we've been trying all year to somehow work the term "sex-perts" into the paper...Yes!) These are songs that either are about sex, put you in the mood for sex or are perfect to listen to while having sex. Hell, some of them fall into all three categories. So when it comes time to make some sweet loving down by the fire on this Valentine's Day, make sure you're prepared...by consulting this list (What, you were expecting a pro-condom public service announcement?)
15. The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang
Yeah, so it's not Barry White, but this song just screams sex. Why? Because all it talks about is sex. Not only that, it has a nifty beat that a "rhythm" could very easily be developed to. Go on and laugh, it's true.
Sexiest line: "So show me yours, I'll show you mine. 'Tool Time' you'll Lovett just like Lyle, and then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch 'X-Files."
14. Get Down Lover - John Spencer Blues Explosion
If you and your baby are in the mood for some good, hard, fast sex, you need this song, which features a frantic pace, a pulse pounding rhythm and John Spencer's unmistakable verbiage.
Sexiest line: "Baby I've got the shovel, and I know that you've got the dirt, so c'mon, honey, let's get together and let's get down to work."
13. Kind Woman - Buffalo Springfield
Slow songs often make for the most romantic evenings, and there is little more romantic than sex (if done right). This song is slow and driving. Great lyrics from Jim Messina help add sensuality to the music; a beautiful tune that's sure to make the night memorable.
Sexiest line: "Kind woman, don't leave me lonely tonight. Please say it's all right, with the look in your eyes."
12. F*** her Gently - Tenacious D
Gentlemen, Tenacious D kindly expressed what most of us are thinking. No, we don't have the marbles to come out and say it, but we're probably thinking it. Ladies, don't take this song the wrong way. It's not derogatory (really, it isn't). In fact, if you listen to the music behind the words, it's easy to get in the mood.
Sexiest line: "And then I'm gonna love you completely. Then I'll f***ing f*** you discreetly."
11. Why don't we do it in the Road? - The Beatles
There are only two lines in this song, but with a song like this, that's all that is needed. It's short, simple and to the point. Why don't we do it in the road? Well, why not?
Sexiest line: "Why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us. Why don't we do it in the road?"
10. Rock the Cradle of Love - Billy Idol
Don't laugh, we're serious! Have you ever seen this video? What with the nerdy guy and the hot supermodel girl and all...wow. Billy Idol is another talented musician who never quite gets the respect he deserves, probably due to the fact that most people just know him as the guy with the spiked platinum hair who sneered and grabbed his crotch all the time and is to this very day banned from Thailand or someplace like that. All of that aside, when you and your partner are in the mood for some hot, sweaty, dirrty (with two "r's") lovin', this is the song that'll get you in the mood. And as everybody knows, rocking the cradle of love (which sometimes leads to a white wedding), is a hell of a lot more fun than dancing with yourself...
Sexiest line: "Flesh for your romeo, baby, I hear you moan. It's easy; y'know how to please me."
9. Justify my Love - Madonna
The queen of all things sex, Madonna fashioned, with the help of Lenny Kravitz, one of the most erotic songs ever recorded. You just can't have a list of best sex songs without having Madonna on it. With it's dry bass and porn drums, Madonna created a song that had everyone saying: "Whoa, look at the unit on that guy!"
Sexiest line: "I don't wanna be your mother. And I don't wanna be your sister either. I just wanna be your lover. I wanna be your baby. Kiss me, that's right, kiss me."
8. I Want you, I Need you, I Love you - Elvis Presley
Forget for a minute the sequined white jumpsuits, the bushy sideburns and the weight problem. Forgotten? Good. What you're left with is the young and sensual Elvis, a rakish lad with sex oozing out of his pores. But that really has little to do with this song's inclusion. The real reason this is such a great sex song is because of the "hiccupping stutter" style of singing Elvis employed at the time. Something about the rhythm and the timing of the song make it really, really easy to have sex to. And the words are nice, which is always a plus.
Sexist line: "Hold me close, hold me tight, make me thrill with delight..."
7. Closer - Nine Inch Nails
Right, so we all know what this song is and what it means. However, if you've been living under a rock for the last fifteen years, here's some background: It's about sex. Dirty, animalistic sex. Easy enough? Great.
Sexiest (in relative terms) line: "You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you. You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you...I wanna f*** you like an animal!!"
6. Just Like Heaven - The Cure
Either you love Robert Smith or you hate him. We've known girls who were extremely turned on by his disheveled hair and heavy mascara, and we've conversely known girls who think he's a whiney freak. Still, we've yet to meet the girl who doesn't like this song (even if she won't admit it). This is one of those songs that, whenever it comes on the radio, everyone sings along with ("Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick..."). Guys, if your girl is into The Cure, playing this song is the best aphrodisiac you're going to find. Smith's lyrics and the accompanying music are both sexual and sensual and just might provide "the cure" for what ails you (assuming that what ails you is sex-related; it might not work out so well if you have, say, bronchitis).
Sexiest line: "Spinning on that dizzy edge, I kissed her face and kissed her head and dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow."
5. I'm on Fire - Bruce Springsteen
When this song was released, music critics everywhere compared Bruce Springsteen to Elvis because of the raw sexuality and bad intentions the song showcased. This song is pure sex; no more, no less. It's about a man who can't think of anything except the woman he's lusting after, and it's a plea from him to her to give him what he so desperately needs. Everyone has had days (and weeks...and months...) where all they can think about is sex, and this song effectively captures that feeling of bittersweet torment. Plus, the song has that certain intangible factor that makes it a major turn on.
Sexiest line: "At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the middle of my head, only you can cool my desire; I'm on fire."
4. Lay, Lady, Lay - Bob Dylan
Bad grammar aside, this is probably one of the sexiest songs ever written, and definitely the sexiest to come from Bob Dylan. Not only had Dylan given up smoking when he recorded it, resulting in a much smoother, sweeter voice, but the lyrics posses a poetic quality that renders them absolutely beautiful. The song conjures up images of an elegant nude gracefully reclining on a brass bed with satin sheets while embracing her lover, who wants nothing other than to hold her through the night, caress her entire body and make love to her repeatedly until the breaking of the dawn. This is a sweet sex song, the kind that should be shared by intimate couples.
Sexiest line: "I long to see you in the morning light. I long to reach for you in the night. Stay, lady, stay; stay while the night is still ahead."
3. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
If you have ever seen this video, you'll easily understand the song's inclusion. Isaak, the lucky duck, gets to kiss sand off a supermodel. How many of us can say that? From its slow slide guitar intro to Isaak's pleading tenor voice, this song will definitely heat things up, even in Siberia.
Sexiest line: "The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do."
2. I Touch Myself - The Divinyls
Let's face it: Sex doesn't always involve two people. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's better that way. And when you're flying solo for whatever reason, there's no better song to get worked up to than this (Hell, just thinking about the chick who sings this song touching herself is enough to get most guys worked up). However, this song is not just for those who happen to find themselves without a living, breathing love receptacle at the given moment; ladies, if you want to give your guys a spectacular Valentine's Day gift this year, perform a sultry striptease to this song. Trust us, he'll love you for it...maybe even twice.
Sexiest line: "I don't want anybody else, and when I think about you I touch myself. Oooh, oooh, aahh..."
1. Let's get it on - Marvin Gaye
Don't let the last name fool you - Marvin Gaye is all about the ladies. More specifically, he's all about lovin' the ladies. As a matter of fact, when it came time to decide on the number one sex song of all time, we found ourselves torn between "Let's get it on" and "Sexual Healing." "Let's get it on" got the nod because, quite frankly, we couldn't imagine putting any other song in this spot. Let's face it, Marvin Gaye's voice is so overtly sexual in this song that even guys get turned on by it (Not us. We're not like that. Which isn't to say that there's anything wrong with it; isn't that right, Hank?) We feel obligated to warn the general population, this song has a habit of leading to drunken three ways and massive orgies. So please, listen responsibly.
Sexiest line: "There's nothin' wrong with me lovin' you - And givin' yourself to me can never be wrong if the love is true...Let's get it on."
Honorable mention: "Why Don't we get Drunk and Screw?" Jimmy Buffett; anything by Barry White; "The Fuse," Bruce Springsteen; "Kiss," Prince (and Tom Jones).
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