What is bi sexuality - bisexuality information

 

 

Personal Recollections of a Bisexual Man

STAGES OF BISEXUAL IDENTITY

WHO IS BISEXUAL?

With the Good comes the Bad....

Many people are gay or lesbian, and are drawn sexually and emotionally only to partners of the same sex. Others are heterosexual, bonding in sexual and intimate relationships only with people of the opposite sex.  However, a significant percentage of people do not fit into either of these categories, because they experience sexual and emotional attractions and feelings for people of different genders at some point during their lives. They are called bisexuals, or also known as  "pansexual," "non-preferential," "sexually fluid," "ambisexual," or "omni-sexual."

The Kinsey scale of 0-6 was developed by sex researchers to describe sexual orientation as a number. Heterosexual people are at zero on the scale, gay and Lesbian people are at six at the other end of the scale, and everyone in between, from one to five, is bisexual. People who fall at one or two on the scale have primarily heterosexual relationships and desires, but have some attraction and experiences with same-sex partners as well. People at three on the scale are approximately equally attracted to both men and women. People at four and five on the Kinsey scale choose primarily same-sex partners, but are not completely gay or lesbian and have some heterosexual tendencies and relationships as well. 

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WHO IS BISEXUAL?

As you can see, there is no simple definition of bisexuality, and bisexual people are a very diverse group. J. R. Little identifies at least 13 types of bisexuality, as defined by sexual desires and experiences. They are:

Alternating bisexuals: may have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.

Concurrent relationship bisexuals: have primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.

Conditional bisexuals: either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children. 

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Emotional bisexuals: have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.

Integrated bisexuals: have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman. 

Exploratory bisexuals: either straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like." 

Hedonistic bisexuals: primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction. 

Isolated bisexuals: 100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past. 

Latent bisexuals: completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it. 

Motivational bisexuals: straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.

Transitional bisexuals: temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.

Just added: 

Situational Bi-sexual: 100% straight or gay, but will indulge because the person enjoys participating in certain sexual activities such as fetish play or swinging.

Many of these people might not call themselves bisexual, but because they are attracted to and have relationships with both men and women, they are in fact bisexual. 

Many people are bisexual, most keep this fact a secret, so to remain nearly invisible in society. Unlike Gays and Lesbians, bisexuals have been much slower to come out of the closet, create community, and form political and social networks to gain visibility in society. Bisexuals have become more accepted as part of the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender community just recently. However, the rigid dichotomy between gay and straight has caused many bisexuals to feel alienated and rejected by gay men and lesbian women, and in recent years many independent bisexual groups have been formed. 
Bisexuals complain that they feel like outsiders in both the straight and gay/lesbian worlds, and that they can't fit in anywhere, feeling isolated and confused. Studies have shown that bisexual people suffer from social isolation even more than gay men or lesbians because they lack any community where they can find acceptance and role models. Many gay men feel that bisexual men are really gay, that they are just in denial about being Gay, and that they should "just get over it." Many straight men are homophobic and hate and fear both bisexual and gay men, often victimizing them. Many straight women reject bisexual men out of misguided fears that they have AIDS, and admonish them to "stop sitting on the fence and make up their minds." Bisexual women are often distrusted by lesbians for "sleeping with the enemy," hanging onto heterosexual privileges through relationships with men, and betraying their allegiance to women and feminism. Straight women often reject bisexual women out of fear they will make sexual overtures and try to "convert" them to being bisexual. 

Both the straight and gay/lesbian communities seem to have 2 possible models of bisexuality, neither of which represents accurately. The first is the "transitional model" of bisexuality, believing that all bisexuals are actually gay or lesbian but are just on the way to eventually coming out as gay. The other is the "pathological model", that bisexuals are neurotic or mentally unstable because they are in conflict trying to decide whether they are straight or gay/lesbian, and that they just can't make a decision. Both see bisexuality as a temporary experience or a "phase" born out of confusion rather than an authentic sexual orientation. Bisexuality is thought to blur the boundaries, confronting both heterosexuals and homosexuals with sexual ambiguity. As a result, bisexuality challenges concepts of sexuality, traditional relationship and family structures, monogamy, gender, and identity. Bisexuals cannot conform to the ethics of either the gay or straight world or they would not be bisexual. Instead they must re-invent personal ethics and values for themselves, and create responsible lifestyles and relationships that serve their needs even though they don't fit anyone else's rules. 

Confusion over sexual orientation.

Most bisexual people start out feeling very confused about their attraction towards people of both sexes, questioning their own reality, and wondering "Is something wrong with me/"Some spend their entire lives in this stage, hiding their sexual orientation, feeling isolated and alone with the inner turmoil over their "dual attractions. Many go through life identifying as straight or gay/lesbian in order to be accepted and make sense of their sexual orientation. Because their own experience does not conform to either community, they feel intense external pressure to choose one and identify with it. Without any language to frame their own reality, and no visible role models or community available to them, bisexual people must have sufficient self-confidence and belief in their own identity in order to eventually transcend this stage.

Discovery of the bisexual label and choosing to identify as bisexual. 

Almost all bisexual people acknowledge that discovering the label "bisexual" was pivotal in understanding and accepting their sexual orientation. Most experience extreme relief when they hear the word "bisexual" for the first time, because they finally have a word that mirrors their experience and feelings. For some, the negative stereotypes of bisexuals as "promiscuous" "fence sitters," neurotic, or vectors of AIDS prevent them from identifying with the label or claiming it for themselves, but most agree that it comes closer than any other language to describing their lives.                           top

Settling into and maintaining a bisexual identity.

For many bisexual people, this step is the most difficult. Intellectually, they feel good about being bisexual, but emotionally, they experience extreme conflict living in the real world as bisexual. Often scorned by family and friends and rejected by spouses or potential partners for being bisexual, they find that to develop and maintain a bisexual identity requires inner strength, self-reliance, confidence, and independence. 

Transforming adversity.

Coming out and staying out of the closet is an on-going process which must be repeated with every new social situation, workplace, friend, and lover.

With the Good comes the Bad........

Bi Phobia and misconceptions about Bisexuality

Honesty's the best policy

The main thing is to be as honest with partners as you can. This does mean, though, that you have to deal with being 'queer' – and with all the stigmas attached. If you're afraid of having a same-sex experience, and you stay 'in the closet', it's not going to help your relationships. Experimentation is fine, as long as you make it clear what's in it for the other person.

Sex-wise, being bisexual's a good deal for you and your partner... you can 'borrow' from sexual experiences with men and with women, learning how to give and get the best. However, as for people of all persuasions, remember safe sex, particularly if you're sleeping with different partners.

Some people think…  Bisexuals have a ball, getting the best of both worlds, and a second-helping of sex life. The truth is…  Being bisexual doesn't mean you fancy everyone, and bisexuals aren't constantly 'up for it'.

Some people think… I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole. 

The truth is… Being bisexual doesn't mean that you can't be monogamous, or that you will be looking 'the other way' all the time. That's just as likely or unlikely in any sort of relationship.

A survey of 229 heterosexual undergraduate students found that they may be less willing to accept bisexuals, particularly male ones, than they are to accept gays or lesbians. 

"The men were more hostile to bisexual men than they were to bisexual women," Eliason says. "But women rated bisexual men and women about the same." 

Male participants were also more likely to agree with stereotypical statements about bisexuals than were female participants. Those statements included "bisexuals tend to have more sexual partners than heterosexuals" and "bisexuals tend to have more sexual partners than gays or lesbians." 

Archives of Sexual Behavior, indicate that bisexual men, as a group, were the most unacceptable to survey respondents when compared to bisexual women, gays and lesbians. Male bisexuality was described by these students as "very unacceptable." Bisexual women, on the other hand, were listed as "very unacceptable".  

Another common misconception is that homophobia and biphobia are the same thing.

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Personal Recollections of a Bisexual Man

I’m so weary of the beatings - albeit mostly in online chatter - bisexuals are constantly subjected to. Bisexuality is real enough, affectionate enough, and no threat to you. 

Bisexuality equals asexuality?

Does anyone really, really believe that bisexuality exists?

My many gay friends all agree that ‘bisexual’ is just a polite way of saying “rather sexually uninterested” — used for people who don’t feel much in the way of genuine sexual desire, who are roughly equally unexcited by both sexes.

Poor bisexual men and women. Some think they are as preposterous as poltergeists and perpetual motion.

I went through my bisexual phase. Unlike hasbians I didn’t repent my twofold sexuality and return to the comfortable embrace of monolithic sexual preference. A latish erotic satori showed me that there are more than two genders, social reality if not biological fact. 

Bisexuality can be damned surprising Some years after I decided that I was a faggot I found my penis moving in a familiar way in an unfamiliar place: a woman’s vagina. Nothing special about that, many - most? - gay men can have sex with women. When they aren’t being obliging they’d rather not. To paraphrase Casey Stengle: sex is 90% mental; the other half is physical.  top

After she was gone I’d sometimes lust after women in my heart. At least the ones on TV. In meat life it was always the boys I noticed. When I went on my online dating binge a few years ago my feelings for women became warmer. Not that I met a woman online. Came close but most of them were too nervous in the early days of cyber-dating. And the word bisexual sent the siren blasting and red light flashing.

For a short time I did think of myself as a bisexual man. The main reason I rejected the label was discovering a more adequate description in the word pansexual. I was grateful.

Bisexual people are the victims of invisible sexual prejudice. Gay men, who should know better deride them. Feminine guys who should be even more ready to accept others despise them. And they have good reason too: a gay boy who is happy to be a gay boy isn’t to be treated like a faux woman - of course boys who would be girls should get whatever they want. 

http://www.bisexual.org/ 

http://members.tripod.com/~gingerly/bi.html 

http://www.channel4.co.uk/health/microsites/H/health/magazine/sex/gay_bisexual.html

http://www.bayarea.net/~stef/Poly/Labriola/bisexual.html

http://www.virtualcity.com/

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