"I
want to attend a play party what is the etiquette?"
The
simplest way to fit in in a play party is to behave politely. There will
be people right in front of you who are doing very sexual things. They are
doing them for _their_ pleasure, not for yours. Stay away from the action
unless invited to participate -- and a glance in your direction does not
constitute an invitation.
The
people who really interfere with the energy of a party are the people who
seemingly assume that just because the scene is taking place in a
semi-public context means that comments from the audience are okay fine.
They're NOT. The top in the scene may be concentrating on the bottom's
pleasure, and the bottom is almost certainly in a very private mental
space. Neither the top nor the bottom will appreciate being yanked back to
reality by a loud suggestion or greeting. If you want to compliment them
on something, WAIT UNTIL THE SCENE IS OVER and they're circulating and
being sociable again! Interfering with a scene in progress is inexcusably
rude, and if I were dungeon-mastering I would throw you out of the party
for doing it.
Once
you understand that scenes are private even though they're taking place in
public, the question then becomes...
"How
can I watch without detracting
from the energy of the scene?"
There
definitely are people who interfere just by watching. They've been dubbed
"energy vampires" in the past. These people are watching the
action as though it was a porno movie -- as though the intense magic
taking place in front of them was no more than a bad fuck flick where the
actress is half asleep. They have no empathy, no sense of connection to
what's going on; they might as well be in a movie theater.
If
you have the ability to watch what is happening with an open heart, if you
can pick up on the energy and send your own good wishes towards the
participants in the scene, you will be much more valuable as a watcher.
Public players never object to an enthusiastic audience which can
appreciate the way they're playing! An audience which values the gift of
being allowed to watch, and which contributes its goodwill towards the
play, can be a delight; an audience which watches without giving and
without connecting takes the life and spirit out of the scene. (And
remember, a good audience does NOT make comments that the players can hear
-- an audience doesn't interfere with the performance!)
You
can be a part of the magic without playing yourself. All it takes is an
honest enjoyment of what's happening combined with politeness and tact.
If
you _do_ want to play, and there's someone you want to play with, you can
ask -- but be prepared to accept a "no, thanks" gracefully. If
you're comfortable mingling and making small talk, you'll be more likely
to find someone with compatible desires -- after all, everyone else there
has similar tastes! There often will be rooms for heavy play and rooms for
hanging out and socializing; don't try to do one activity in the other
activity's space. This is an important distinction: if you want to talk,
take it somewhere besides where someone else is trying to create a scene.
And in general, don't just start a scene in the midst of other people's
conversations.
One
last note: it helps if you dress sexily, even if you're not playing --
usually the more leather and lace there is to look at, the better!
