Introduction
i should start by introducing myself here. my name is kitten, i am a submissive female, fairly young being only 19.
This which has caused me some trouble as people often doubt my knowledge, respect, as well as doubt me. i love to write and in doing so i thought, i would write a story based on myself before my first real time experience in the BDSM lifestyle, during, as well as after. Let me start with part one of who i am.
Y/you will also notice that everything to do with me is lowercased whether it be the begining of a sentence or not. Anything to do with that of a Dominant is Capitalized as it is respectful.
The before
i was born on June 21,1986. i had a child hood that was horrible in some ways. But, in others it was the best childhood a child could wish to have. Now i know there are so many out there in the world who are starving, sick, homeless... And this is why i say in some ways it was horrible.
my family is a rather large family. i have a multiple of family members between my mothers side of the family, as well as my fathers side. my father was an idiot who caused a multitude of problems. By the time i was six my mother had kicked my father out and divorced him.
Life was okay besides my mother being sick and often in the hospital. But, never did i miss a family function. i was always left out when i went to them, sitting off to the side or playing in the water alone because the way i thought was very different from the way that of my familys.
It had not occured to me how different i was until i was seventeen and watched my mother die, which was when my life had drastically changed. To hide myself from being on the sidelines i began going on the interent (which is very addicting).
The Internet
i began going on every day at first for only a short time doing what was called Role Playing. i loved doing this, it challenged my brain in many ways. i fell across a role play room called "Unclaimed markets" the name alone intrigued me, so i went in, what i saw was beyond my imagination. i saw people playing slaves, but they were not like how i remembered learning of the slaves in school.
i began asking and learned this was called submission. i noticed my characters fell within this catagory. Wondering i decided to look at the overall picture, which was me and who i really was.
That is when i came upon a website called Myspace.
It was normal friends for awhile... or what i have preceviably called normal at the time. i came upon groups to do with submission as well as a man called Master Liam. He helped me to find that i was submissive. i figured there was not much to this "scene" and that i was alone.
Not many weeks later i found there were more than i had thought there to be, i began getting close to a woman name Mistress Deja, in the begining it was "perfect" in all sences. Soon after things dwindled down to where there was not even time for Her to say hello to me, i began falling away, especially when i heard of the rumors that i was being told.
Putting two and two together i figured out why there was no time, and soon after She was gone... friends helped through this time, Which i would like to thank here and now... with a small note.
[Lady Jessica Mistress Dominae, Sparky, Mistress Salome, Raven, Mistress Chrissy... i can not thank each and every one of Y/you enough for the help ,support, and guidance Y/you all gave me during this rough time, not only did Y/you all do this but,Y/you put everything in perspective. And, i knew i was better and could find better. Y/you all proved true friendship to me, that will forever be in my heart]
i began speaking to Lady Jessica through e-mail on myspace. At first i was a touch nervouse, why i do not know. But, something about Her sent electric sparks. She was a true Lady. She was real. Everything about Her was amazing. i had grown and began moving on, learning from my mistakes, while begining to want to talk to Lady Jessica even more.
She brought me to a site called freakefriends.com Where i met a multitude of others within this lifestyle all seeming to be much more sincere than those on myspace.
my first realtime experience
On February 18th, i was invited to a fetish BDSM swinger party in NYC called Peepshow. Lady Jessica had invited me to go with Her, i agreed to this.
As the days grew closer i began to get butterflies in my stomach. And, yet i was exceited. i wanted to make the perfect impression to show i was a true submissive.
Lady Jessica did a few touch up's on my make-up to make it more presentable as it was rather dull after sitting on a bus for two hours and twenty minutes. it was now time to go to the party.
One person i was looking forward to seeing was Desdemonia. i had gained quite a friendship with Her on freakefriends. When i walked in my eyes had to adjust to the darkness, W/e turned in O/our coats and from here it was nothing but intriguing sites for my eyes, i will not go into them, as it is not needed, But, Y/you can know i learned quite a bit this night.
One of my first true tests were to properly great a Goddess, Well lets say that did not go over well. i had tried.. but nearly fell flat on my face! (talk about embaressing!)
i received a small tap on the rear for this, and of course i properly apologized. When it came time to have to do a proper greating again i worked much harder to get this right, my heart was pounding, i felt as if it might rip through my chest. But, thankfully i had done it right this time, and to see the pleasing smile upon Lady jessicas face allowed me to relax. Because, i had done it.
i had made the proper impression. my next target was looking for DJ and Jen, finally after asking practically everyone there W/we found them. it was wonderful and fun.
Now it was time for my spanking, my very first one. i was panicing inside but at the same time i was ready and i was eager. i crawled like a kitten onto Lady j's lap. Jennie sat to watch as she wished to learn. my eyes shut a moment as i felt the first hit. it was a touch hard, and yet i could not stop , i had to giggle. i LOVED the feeling of it. It seemed to amuse Lady J and Jennie.
Once my spanking was over my rear was purple, i felt it, but did not know how purple. Jennie tried a few while Lady J taught her the proper way to give a spanking. It truly was amazing. i could not help but be happy, when i literally rolled onto the floors on my knees, i hugged Lady J and thanked Her, i was so grateful to Lady J for this, and so honored!.....
When Master Steelow and Desdemonia walked by after my spanking i was exceited to show Desdemonia. The sparkle in Dessie's eye was amazing. Funny thing is W/we are the same height.. She is so warm and friendly even through Her confidence.
Lady J soon came out and told me that Master Steelow wished my presence, i gripped to Lady J's hand, i could not help it. She lead me towards Master Steelow and stayed right beside me.
Master Steelow then gave me an honorary spanking, followed by Dessie giving me a flogging. Lady J kept checking to see i was okay which made me feel much more safer knowing She was there and that She cared enough to see i was okay.
After i was told i could stand i hugged Dessie, She was very comforting. Lady J gave me the command of "Present" immediatly i did as i was told, and now it was Lady J's turn for a flogging. It was amazing. i soon felt a touch dizzy as if i were slipping away from reality.
i felt like i was in another dimension, floating on a cloud, i later learned this to be "subspace"... Lady J continued to see that i was okay through this. When it was over i felt amazing! it truly was wonderful.
i watched Lady J and Lady Shaii have fun flogging another, talk about powerful and intense! (ha ha)... i loved watching this. Once back at Lady J's i actually saw how purple my rear end was, and Y/you want to say purple well mine was purple.
The morning had gone to quick in my oponion as it was now time for me to catch my bus back home. i wanted to cry, She told me not to and i held so hard to not start crying.
i had to watch out the back window as i headed towards the station. The two hour and twenty minutes ride back were quiet. Thoughts swarmed within my head making me dizzy untill i closed my eyes and rested on the bus. Back home i finally ended up crying.
Everything in me had to be released. i called Lady J needing to get it out of my system, and She was all i had on my mind, i knew She might be able to help make sense of what i was feeling, And, She did.
This is an experience i will not forget, nor do i ever want to forget.
The days after
Now it has been nearly two months since my first experience, and it lives rather bright within my mind. i feel i have grown much closer to Lady Jessica, i can tell Her anything in my heart and on my mind without fear, which in my eyes is very special.
Every thought i have is making Her happy, of course i have made mistakes and been punished for them rightfully. There is always a lesson in a punishment and i look for them.
The main things that course through my mind are questions of "Am i making Her happy?, What would She say?, What would She tell me to do?" these questions linger always in my mind.
Lady J makes me feel like a true submissive. Now i like to try and make monthly trips to the city to see friends i have made, of course when i go down i always want to see Lady J to say hello, and see how She is.
In March i went down to a club with Mother Bear - truly a fun night. So many things have happened since my first experience and through this i feel myself growing in knowledge, and any possible way to grow. It's a special feeling to have. Though i am young, people continue to underestimate me until i show them the knowledge that i have and knock them over.
But, Y/you know what? all i can say is let people underestimate me, T/they don't know what T/they are missing. Because, i am a smart and intelligant young woman who has wonderful friends.
A list of people i'd love to thank. People who have inspired me.
Master Steelow
Desdemonia
Lady Jessica
Mistress Dominae
Mistress Chrissy
Mistress Salome
Hornd One
Goddess Taeryn
raven
fido
xania
meow
forsythia (thanks for being a great friend)
Y/you are A/all in my heart
A/all of Y/you are special to me
and thank Y/you for being my F/friends.
By: Precious_submissive_kitten
